2018 BMW 530d Luxury
“In the real world where all things are considered, the best car on sale today is the G30 BMW 5 Series. If you’re looking for the most value for money, that would be the 520d M Sport, and if you’re looking at the most performance for your money, that would be this one — the ultra exclusive but all-inclusive 530d Luxury.”
2018 Audi A4 2.0 TDI
“Apparently, a tire blowout is listed as one of the biggest fears of highway drivers. They say that the lower your speed, the higher the chances of survival. A blowout at 60 km/h will be far less catastrophic than one at 150 km/h. More importantly, walking away from it at those speeds is considered a gift from God - one that I so gladly received.”
Get The F Out
2017 Lexus GS F
“If you were given thirty seconds to plot an escape destination in the nav system in exchange for your freedom - you wouldn’t make it. You wouldn’t even if they gave you two hours to do it. However, if you put your foot down, it won’t take ten seconds for your captors to beg for freedom.”
2018 MINI Countryman D
“It possesses all that I love about the 3-door Cooper, but with limitless versatility. It is easily the second best car that the brand sells today, because its range of capabilities are vast. It’s a bit grown up, but it’s still got the psychedelic LSD funk that I love about the MINI brand.”
Wind of Neptune
2018 Maserati Levante Q4 GranSport
"The Levante has a mild-mannered engine, which I liken to a classical music concert. When you’re seated and enjoying the show, only those that really know are aware of the destructive power that lays beneath the gentle symphony serenading your ears."
Change of Heart
2018 Honda CR-V 1.6 SX AWD
"The old CR-V was a blank piece of paper that you can leave laying in your desk for months. It is so much of a non-entity it becomes invisible over time. It isn’t bothersome enough to throw in the trash bin, neither is it interesting enough to simply pick up. This new one however, is a completely different story."
2018 Mazda CX-9 SkyActiv-Turbo AWD Grand Touring
"Yes, it’s Japanese and it is not a Toyota Prado that can climb rocks and go deeper into the woods than you really should, but no SUV with the same seating capacity will drive and perform as well as this, unless you are talking about the likes of a BMW X5 - which is more than double the price."
Lick Your Lips
2018 Lexus LC 500
“It’s like finally having dinner with a lady you’ve admired for years. As the night goes on, you see angles of her face that you’ve never seen before, an insatiable laughter you can't get enough of, and a sense of humor that you never knew existed. She frowns, she squints, she smiles, and then she speaks. Lovely.”
2017 Volkswagen Golf GTS
"The Volkswagen Golf GTS was intended for the North American market, but they've had no takers after the 'Dieselgate' scandal. The brilliant idea is to send it over to the Philippines, a country that doesn’t give a shit about trust ratings. We’ve been getting raped by our government since God spoke to Moses on the mountain. We sure as hell will not let a great car get in the way of some passé emission scandal. And what a car it is."