Paint it Red
2019 Mazda MX-5 RF Club Edition
“There isn’t a car that’s had more content on our page than the MX-5. And because we are the most thorough outfit in the country, it is our job to bombard you with as much information on it so that you can make the right choice. What I just said is a load of crap. We are the least thorough, and if I’m honest, the main reason that so much has been written about the MX-5 is because it is categorically lovely.”
2019 Nissan GT-R
“I get the privilege of driving some of the best supercars in the country, yet nothing tucks my tail in between my legs more than Godzilla. Its ability to leap from standstill is incredible. The only thing faster is teleportation, and scientists haven’t quite worked that out yet.”
Hot Rod Hearts
2019 Ford Mustang GT Premium Convertible
“For you technical people that get turned on with data, this car wallows and flexes more than the neighborhood gym trainer — but I don’t care. Trust me, you wouldn’t too. Not when you have a galaxy of stars as your roof and an exhaust note that makes your female passengers beg to have your babies.”
Many will tell you that the reason Porsche makes the best sports cars in the world is because you can use it every day. I disagree, but not because what they’re saying is wrong. I believe that they do because it connects with the driver in a way that is completely alien to anyone who hasn’t driven one.
2018 BMW 530d Luxury
“In the real world where all things are considered, the best car on sale today is the G30 BMW 5 Series. If you’re looking for the most value for money, that would be the 520d M Sport, and if you’re looking at the most performance for your money, that would be this one — the ultra exclusive but all-inclusive 530d Luxury.”
2018 Audi A4 2.0 TDI
“Apparently, a tire blowout is listed as one of the biggest fears of highway drivers. They say that the lower your speed, the higher the chances of survival. A blowout at 60 km/h will be far less catastrophic than one at 150 km/h. More importantly, walking away from it at those speeds is considered a gift from God - one that I so gladly received.”
Fight your demons and gut them. Get Lost, eat exotically, paint recklessly, hug your siblings, laugh with your nephews, and drive spiritedly. Live a little longer and write that story. There has to be one, for we, as humans are a collection of some of the most interesting non-fiction autobiographies that go unpublished.
Get The F Out
2017 Lexus GS F
“If you were given thirty seconds to plot an escape destination in the nav system in exchange for your freedom - you wouldn’t make it. You wouldn’t even if they gave you two hours to do it. However, if you put your foot down, it won’t take ten seconds for your captors to beg for freedom.”
2018 MINI Countryman D
“It possesses all that I love about the 3-door Cooper, but with limitless versatility. It is easily the second best car that the brand sells today, because its range of capabilities are vast. It’s a bit grown up, but it’s still got the psychedelic LSD funk that I love about the MINI brand.”
Wind of Neptune
2018 Maserati Levante Q4 GranSport
"The Levante has a mild-mannered engine, which I liken to a classical music concert. When you’re seated and enjoying the show, only those that really know are aware of the destructive power that lays beneath the gentle symphony serenading your ears."